We’ve all had moments where we wanted to say something but didn’t. Maybe it was fear gripping us or maybe we thought it would get better on its own. They say silence is golden, but I say silence can be dangerous, very dangerous in the long run. 

The recent series, Adolescence, had many hard hitting themes that intrigue the psychologist in me, but what stuck with me most was the dangers of silence! Let’s look at 5 such moments from the series where I feel the silence was dangerous, not golden:

1. When the Female Therapist Was Harassed by the Prison Guard

Jamie’s therapist at the prison cell clearly felt uncomfortable when the guard kept making inappropriate comments and touching her. But she didn’t call him out or report it.

I wish… she had set a firm boundary early on—something as simple as “I don’t appreciate those comments” or “Please respect my space”. If that didn’t work, reporting it to someone in charge or talking to a colleague could have helped her feel supported.

2. When Jamie Saw His Father’s Anger But Never Spoke About It

Jamie grew up watching his dad lose his temper, but he never told anyone how it made him feel. Instead, we later see how he justifies it or discounts it in his head (dad gets angry ONLY SOMETIMES/he is a nice guy). Over time, Jamie started reacting the same way.

I wish… Jamie had appropriate role models to understand that this display of anger and aggression by his father was not okay. I wish his mother had spoken about the same. Jamie saw the anger, he saw his mother keep quiet, Jamie (mis)understood the situation as normal. 

3. When Katie’s Best Friend Kept Her Emotions In and they ended up coming out at the wrong time

After Katie’s death, Jade, her best friend bottled everything up instead of talking about her feelings. Eventually, she couldn’t hold it in any longer and ended up hitting a classmate and would likely be in trouble.

I wish…. she was able to talk about her emotions. Even if she couldn’t talk to her parent, opening up to a friend, or the trusted adults at school, letting them know she is not okay, might have helped her start the process.  

4. When Jamie’s Mom Ignored the Signs That He Was Struggling

Jamie’s mom saw him getting quieter, more distant, and angrier, but she brushed it off as “teenage mood swings” instead of asking what was really going on.

I wish…parents were guided on how to handle teenagers. Maybe Lisa didn’t need the supervision, but every teenager is different and that makes it difficult for parents to understand them. Parents too need help, on how to figure their kids, especially when the times are so different now. If Jamie’s parents knew why he was so distant and isolated, it is possible that things wouldn’t have escalated the way they did.

5. When Jamie’s Classmates Saw the Cyberbullying But Said Nothing

People at school saw Jamie getting bullied online. No one spoke up, reported it, or even asked him if he was okay.

I wish…people were kinder!  You don’t have to be a hero to help. A simple “Are you okay?” or “That’s not okay! ” in a private message could have made Jamie feel less isolated. And reporting the bullying—whether to a teacher, a parent, or even the platform—could have stopped it from getting worse.

Remember, silence doesn’t protect anyone, silence may maintain peace for sometime—but it also lets the wrong keep going. The more we talk, the more we help.

If you feel you or someone you know is struggling, feel free to reach out to me here.